The GHOST of my past.

As the ring slipped into my finger, I realized that I have a new life now. When I looked at the smiling faces of my family and friends, I felt comfort. I was the centre of attraction with the man who was soon to become my husband. With all the flowers, food and celebrations my wedding was over. I knew that now the turbulent and testing times of my life have gone. I was on the road to explore new city, new people and new house. Soon, I was in my husband’s room, ready to explore him and me. But the moment I was in his arms I find that I don’t belong here, that I don’t feel anything. Shutting the door of my ribcage hard on the face of my heart, I put a successful show of pretensions. I let the things take place at their own pace, doing everything mechanically. Lying on bed, I found my eyes burning and felt a little tear rolling down. Slowly with laden foot, I went towards the mirror hanging on the wall; I looked at my face in the mirror and saw him staring at me and smiling. I saw my fingers resting on the lips of my lover and then the wings of memories grew at my soul that took me to the night when we were in each other’s arms, caressing each other and basking in the warmth of our bodies.  “Not again”, I said to myself. “Its all over.” but as I was draping the saree around my waist, I felt someone breathing into my body and whispering in my ear, “wear me with your saree”. Fighting back my tears, I went to the kitchen. Here, I forced myself to smile and talk, eat and drink. I was to cook the lunch that day, so I was doing it. Soon there was my husband, pulling me towards him, he said, “Let’s go to the movie today”. I simply nodded.

                                 In the theater, he held my hand. While all the time I was saying to myself, “why are you not feeling anything? Feel it, like it.” Nothing happened. All I felt was the sweat on my palm. Driving back to our home, I realized that there is no escape. I realized that I am going to be haunted by the ghost of my past till I breathe my last.