looking

Looking at the sky changing colors and the lush green of the earth my heart skips a beat. It reminds of the days when my life was as beautiful as these scenes. It is hard to believe how life turns out to be. It hollows down every dream and hope while you are left to paddle out your way through the sea of sorrows. I am trying my best and so hard that I almost rip my own heart in the process and hide from my past. Do I succeed? Yes, I do. I smile, I sing but the moment I let down my guards and I see my tear stained face, trying to get my attention and I feel what I have done to myself. I feel myself saying that I was wrong. I see the falling heart in the bottom of darkness and I realize that I have lost myself, completely.