twenty six words...

 His msg:

If I had ever hurt you by my deeds or words…knowingly or unknowingly…I am sorry from bottom of my heart…hope you forgive me…

My reply:

Apologising in twenty six words.

Summing up three years in twenty six words.

Showing the value of my love in twenty six words.

Is it going to bring back my innocence.

Is it going to bring back my dreams.

Is it going to release me from all the pains.

So easy it is to say sorry.

So easy it is to say I didn’t mean it.

So easy it is to say move on.

You are admired for leaving me in pieces.

You rised in the eyes of “your” people.

You are praised for following the words of your “dear ones”.

Temme, is your sorry going to bring back all that I lost.

If yes then I will forgive u.

If yes then I will take all and live with it.

Disillusionment:

India at a distance seems to be a country full of mystery and beauty. With  diversity in its every strand it successfully ropes in lots of admirers but when one comes closer to it. Then, comes an utter disillusionment. Seen from the closer quarters, one is able to see the cracks in the image of this ancient land. One can call it a perfect tourist country, as the conditions and situation fills the hearts with amusement and wonders. The mismanagement and the variety in food, religion,color, caste, dress,tongue and what not presents a very unique picture to an outsider. Its just not give amusement to a foreigner but it also gives him a realisation that  “nothing is like home”.

                         Still, there are some people who have stayed back and are enjoying the “Indian circus” daily. Corruption, poverty, carelessness and hatred towards eachother fill their souls with awe. They feel amazed to see this country surviving though crippled but still breathing. Others, who prefer to leave it, feels pity for the human race in general, living in india. They also witness not “unity in diversity” but “divisions in diversity”. The only unity they see is in hatred towards eachother’s religion. Not only in religions but also in castes and subcastes. Everything they once had imagined comes down falling. They thought of india to be developed but what they find instead  is potbellied baked merchants and buisnessmen in jeans and tshirts, feeling proud in calling themselves modern but in reality are still chained in old age superstitions and in safeguarding their family name.

                In a nutshell, india is a perfect example of disillusionment and so are its people. For the sake of family pride and name they can stake the lives of any number of innocents. It is the country full of  strange ideas and ideal. Still, it’s the country of my origin and I love it with all its minuses and pluses.

The Perforated Sheet

Aadam Aziz never had the chance to see Naseem. He saw her only in parts i.e, through a perforated sheet. He sees his future wife's face for the first time on the same day, World war I ends. this chapter called "Perforated Sheet" is present in the "midnight children" written by Salman Rushdie is a metaphor, told Anita mam. She said that it is a metaphor used to describe the human perception. Analyzing it further, she said that we, humans have the tendency to look at everything from our own mind set. Our approach to take on challenges and circumstances is circumscribed to our narrow outlook. We are unable to understand the whole design or the structure of god's plan. just as Aadam looked his future wife in parts, we also tend to love others in parts.there is never a complete or whole view of person that etches us to them.

On personal level, when i read it. To me it appeared simply an introductory note to the main characters of the novel. The explanations that mam gave came like revelations. There are so many underneath meanings in every corner of the novel that it became impossible for inexperienced people like me to unravel them on our own. Under the guidance of mam we were able to collect the embedded jewels of the novel. She began by telling us that the whole novel is in narrative form and that there is more than one reality. It is like a universal story. It begins in Kashmir which is depicted in its past glory, idyllic just like the Eden garden. Aadam, represents Adam and Naseem represents Eve. So it is another version of the story of the very first man and woman. Saleem who is the narrator and the protagonist, quintessentially represents India which is a centre of so many philosophies and beliefs.

A visit to PARADISE....

When he took me to his place, the gates of heaven were opened, the fragrant atmosphere gripped my heart. Through the narrow lanes when he guided me, I felt free and protected. His face shone like dewdrops in the first winter night on a young rose bud. The brows knitted in care heightened the grace of his face. He held me with his eyes and unfolded the wings of happiness of my heart. At the threshold of the pious land I felt my soul crumbling. beauty and purity reflected, wherever I turned my face. After getting the blessings when I moved in his house, He greeted me with the bowl full of relishing kheer. Every sorrow of my heart seemed to have taken a flight. I was immensely happy and contented. The peace that I had experienced there, has left an everlasting impression on my heart and is going to act as a buffer against the harsh realities of life.

U may be far away...

You may be far away, enjoying and laughing with your family and friends.

you may be busy with your work and completing your projects.

throwing me and my memories from your conscious mind,

you may have got "new" love to love,

you may have got new moments to cherish

by burning all the signs of my existence in your life

you may have got the whole world in your fist and enjoying the attention

you may have broken my images in your heart into pieces

but one day or one moment or once in your life

voice of your chained heart will overpower.

the voice of your heart ll peirce your reasoned mind

and the walls of your soul will resound with my name

over the ruins of mine, on which you once built your empire,

they will rise and haunt you wherever you will go or reside,

the scars, the hurts, bruises, pains or burns or bruises

that you gifted me, will get mouths, and scream in your ears

you may not know what wrong you did,

you may not know the reasons of my unshed tears,

but sooner or later you will face them staring in your eyes,

i will not let the pain to go or wounds to heal,

but i will sit and wait for the "day of judgement" to come!!!!

Jai Hind!!

"Nanha munna raahi hu..
desh ka sipahi hu
bolo mere sung Jai Hind Jai Hind"

In my childhood days, this was one of the songs that used to fill me with immense patriotism for my country. but gradually when the pitiable condition of my nation and my incapability to do something descended on me, I preferred to fell back, to let the things be as they are. I adopted an attitude of turning my back to every wrong happening in my country because I knew that my voice like most of the times will be subdued.One day, I unthinkingly opened a newspaper and at the very front page saw a small man in white kurta payjama with right fist in the air. a volley of questions stormed my heart. I scanned the article quickly and found that this man is named "Anna Hazare" who is spear heading the anti corruption movement against the government. Now I looked carefully at the picture.Deep and honest pair of eyes were set in either side of a flat but concrete nose. I immediately took out my laptop and googled information about him. I found out that he has completely reformed a village. It is the true portrayal of Shelley's utopian wold. Everything is perfect in Hazare's village. watching and reading about him and his moral deeds, a hope is kindled that if people of my country will tread in his footsteps, forgetting about all the divisions among themselves than glory that we deserve will dawn on us.
Like many, I am standing in support of Anna Hazare and is all ready to stake my life for the welfare of my country. For me he is the reincarnation of Gandhi ji and I know that he will wade off the evil from our country. but now situations are worse, Indian politicians are ruthless barbarians, much more cruel than Britishers. I dont know when will everything turn out to be in common man's favor but the thing i am sure about is that if this revolution is sustained for long time than that day is not far when we will be happy to see our youth preferring India over other countries.

Story of a shoe..

I was gifted to him on his birthday.
proud was i of my pure white color,
as proud was he to wear me,
i was liked and admired by my owner.
he took me wherever he went,
i caressed his feet with my soft insides
made all his pains mine.
but with time my whiteness dulled
with it my image in my master's eyes dulled
i tried to look good
but he said, "no more i can wear you"
i saw disgust in his eyes for me
"what will people say, if i l go with you"
i was thrown out,
as i was worn out
picked up was i from dustbin
stiched up was i from thead and pin
i was made ready again, but with a little change,
my insides were hardened and my outsides were ruined...